Self-Love: The Journey

04 Feb Self-Love: The Journey

Can I be honest? Most people see me as strong and confident. I agree but, I would be remised to claim I feel confident all the time. I have had my days of self-doubt, imposter syndrome and moments where I questioned my worthiness. Somehow, no matter how diligently I have worked at loving myself, the world (family, friends, relationships, media etc.) have seeped into the crevices of my being like water or sand and placed bouts of doubt that manifest into insecurities. Some people may argue that they are 100% secure but, I don’t know a soul that does not deal with insecurity in one aspect of their life or another. In case you are questioning my claim, here are some instances where insecurities may arise.

• Beauty Perceptions
• Relationship Status/Failed Relationships
• Financial Status or Class
• Physical Presentation
• Family Dynamics and Background
• Trauma History
• Your Past Being Exposed
• Cooking Abilities
• How You Measure Up to Other People
• FOMO (Fear of missing out)

 If at any point in your life you checked off any of these, raise your hand (both of my hands are up). A “yes” to anything on the list is just a reminder that you are human. Life just pinched you a bit and it’s okay. What’s important is this:

• You recognize the impacts of the world around you. (You can’t address what you don’t recognize)
• Don’t get stuck in the rut. This is what my sister calls “stinking thinking”. (You are worthy!)
• What proactive plans do you have in place to get back to the self-love? (Life happens, plan ahead)

THE JOURNEY TO SELF-LOVE

I know you’ve heard the phrases, “Don’t worry about what other people think!” or “Be You, Do You!” I agree with these phrases, but I also know that it’s easier said than done. But, one thing is for sure. When a seed is planted, whether it is watered or not, determines if the plant flourishes or not. In this month of love, I encourage you to feed the seed that will bear the most beautiful flower, and that is YOU.

You ask, how do you water the confident, strong, brilliant, beautiful flower that you are? Here are 3 ways to proactively, practice self-love:

1. Affirmations: Look in the mirror and recite these 5 phrases:

• I am resilient!
• I am beautifully and wonderfully made!
• I am wise and capable of all things I put my mind to!
• I am love and deserve love!
• I am royalty!

2. Give yourself permission to feel (yep there goes grace again). You are human. It is normal to hurt, cry, to be scared, to fear and even doubt. But, you don’t have to live there because all those affirmations you recite are real. When you have doubt or are fearful, go back to your affirmations and go after your desires. Yep, do it scared!Assess where your feelings of insecurities are coming from. Ask yourself if your insecurities are perceptions that were planted in your childhood. Are they from significant others, media, family or did you place unrealistic expectations on yourself? Identifying these triggers may require therapy. You can also discuss your triggers with a trusted confidant or journal. These are all avenues that may allow you to dig deep to decipher the root of your “stinking thinking”.

3. Get comfortable in your skin. Even if you feel like you have room for growth, love who you are today. You are worthy TODAY! The more you invest and love yourself, the more you will evolve. Trust the process and enjoy the journey!

If you’ve found what you have read helpful, like, comment and share. Also, let me know ways that you practice self-love. If you have questions, I would love to connect. Subscribe to the newsletter on the home page at www.selfcareadvocacy.com.

Take Care,

Ayana

The Self-Care Advocate